Save me form Myself
by SpiffyCaptainJ
Summary: --story currently being re-written...may be a while, but feel free to review, it helps. : -- NaruSasu/SasuNaru
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I dont own Naruto..would be cool if I did though.

**Warnings:**...I'm only writing this once. There will, (one day) be lemons..there will be talk of self mutilation and depression and drugs used. I rated it M for a reason. So dont read this if you are easily offended. If you read a book at B&N that offends you, do you honestly write the author to flame them? So constructive criticism is always cool. If you hate it, okay, tell me why.

Uhhh.....this is my first fanfic, EVER. I'm still trying to figure out how to work the site and what not, so pardon me if shit gets a little fucked up..

**Dedication:** to all the amazing authors whose stories have inspired me to add one of my own to the mix.

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He slammed his fist into the unrelenting plastic, the resulting sting of ripping flesh only making him curse more.

It was nearing 2 a.m. And Sasuke was pissed. At himself, at his father, mother and brother, at his dealer for not having what he needed...at the whole damn world as far as he was concerned! Fuck them all!!

He sat on the ground, and stared at the mulch between his shoes. He was at the playground. The only place he could think of where he would not be bothered at this hour of the morning. His hands were trembling as he lit his cigarette, breathing that first wonderful lungful of toxins and exhaling a pungent cloud of smoke. His flat black eyes stared at the blue slide in front of him, the very slide that had been his punching bag for the past 10 minutes. The slide didn't look any different...but his hands sure did. His knuckles were missing flesh and were now bleeding freely down his fingers.

He sighed. Leaving his house at odd hours of the morning was now a habit for him. His parents were now long gone, as well as his relatives, his brother on the run, so he was left a considerable sum of money...he hadn't done a damn thing productive with it. Unless of course you count various drugs and alcohol a productive way to spend your money.

Since the death of his parents, Sasuke had given up on caring about anything. He had always wanted to outshine his brother, and impress his father...but now they were gone, and he was indifferent.

He had still managed straight A's after their death..not like it was hard or anything..school was easy. Then Spring Break had come...and the endless amounts of time in which to to do nothing had led him down a very dark path. To be perfectly honest he couldn't remember most of the past two weeks, and now the break was over and he was expected to attend school again, it seemed almost pointless to continue.

Sometimes _life_ just seemed pointless_._

The people in his school had either pitied him, worshiped him or hated him for his indifference. He had kept them **all **at arms length. Why would he need any friends? So they could betray him like his brother had? No thank you. Sasuke learned from his mistakes.

Sasuke pulled from his memories as he finished his cigarette in one long luxurious drag. Dropping his bud to the ground, he stood. Black hair draped across his face as he ran his hand up the back of his head, resulting in his classic 'duck butt' hair style. No one knew his hair was like that as a result of this very same nervous gesture. It was a habit that he barely even noticed anymore.

This motion, however, resulted in more stinging for his hands. He sighed, a little cloud of moisture clinging desperately to slightly parted lips. _Might as well go back and shower. School will be starting in a few hours,_ Sasuke thought bitterly, and so he began his long walk back.

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He sat up, blue eyes gazing blearily at the offensive plastic object that had awoken him.

_Damn, morning already...feels like I just went to sleep.._ A fist came down on top of the angrily blaring alarm clock. _Ugh_, he thought. _Time to peel my self out of the blankets_ and so he set about doing just that. It was very apparent to him that he tossed and turned a lot in his sleep, no matter how tired he was when he hit that mattress, he always awoke in a tangled heap of sheets and limbs, and could not figure out how he could have possibly moved so much.

_Senior year is almost over, wont have to get up at this ungodly hour much longer.._he thought as he finally made his way off the bed. He stood and looked at himself in the mirror. Disheveled blond hair stuck up in all directions, and was growing at such a rate that it had now grown past his ears. On his tanned and toned belly was a very spirally tattoo. It was still a little red, he had gotten it last weekend. He studied his face, it hadn't really changed much. He sighed, and shrugged as he ran his fingers through his hair. _Maybe the longer hair will attract some ladies.. _He smiled to himself at the thought and proceeded to get dressed for school.

Naruto wasn't really the type to spend a long time getting dressed or anything, he simply put on whatever pair of jeans he found first on the floor, a pair of worn out converse, a t-shirt supporting whatever band he was currently into, and a hoodie. Always the same hoodie, it was orange..his favorite color. It had holes in the cuff for his thumbs, a few burns from cigarette embers that had gone astray, and a few discolorations here and there from who knows what.

He made his way out the his bedroom door and into the living space. The 'living space' was more like a kitchen/dining room/living room all in one. One his right was a kitchen counter top, a stove, a fridge, a sink and a dishwasher. Almost directly in front of that was a kitchen island with two stools that served as a place to eat, although most of the time they ate on the couch. The couch was along the wall behind him facing the T.V. A coffee table was crammed between the two, and along the left wall was a sliding glass door leading out to the very small balcony.

Naruto lived here with his best friend, Kiba. They got this apartment over spring break, knowing they would be going to college together anyway, and this would be better than the dorms. Akamaru, Kiba's dog, was currently sleeping out on the balcony. He stretched, his back popping, and sauntered into the kitchen to grab a cup of ramen before class.

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Sasuke sat in the back of the class room. His whole body felt hot, he could feel his pulse thrumming in his ears. His head felt a little dizzy, and he felt as if he could fly. He had taken a few Vicodin and he was currently riding out a serious high. From the perspective of most anyone else in the room, he still looked like normal brooding Sasuke, not that anyone really looked close enough at him to know for sure. To most people, his little 'fan girls' included, he was just a name attached to some serious cash and a hot body.

He let his hand drift idly across his piece of paper, giving him the appearance of taking notes in the halfway darkened classroom. The overhead at the front of the room humming its electronic tune, his half stoned mind hearing it and trying to turn it into a song. He smiled to himself, a slightly manic looking smile, not that anyone had seen it, and continued to doodle. The random smattering of images on his paper consisted of tornadoes and screaming chibi versions of his classmates. As he drew these little people, he realized the one did not look the same. He looked up to seek out Naruto. The Naruto on his page seemed at odds somehow with his current mental image of him. Naruto had been his closest thing to a friend before his parents had been killed. Since then Sasuke had avoided Naruto like some form of bubonic plague, not wanting the blond to get to close lest he see the self destructive monster he had become. He had successfully avoided Naruto all spring break by going to the lowliest of places and drug houses. Naruto would never think to go to places like that to search for Sasuke. Hell, no one would expect honorable Uchiha himself to be stoned out of his mind on some dirty old couch or smoking with strangers.

Thats when he saw him, Naruto. Longer hair, thats what was wrong..no he was a little taller too, or was that just how he was sitting? Then Naruto turned and he was met with blue eyes staring directly into his own.

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He'd had a feeling, a nagging feeling for the past few minutes that he was being watched. So he turned

and had found Sasuke Uchiha staring at him, studying him. That wasn't really unusual, Sasuke studied everyone. He considered everyone a threat, and he studied them all. It was the fact that he was even looking at _**him**_ that was odd. For over a month now he had avoided him. He had been worried about Sasuke since the day it was splattered over news that his parents and few close relatives had been slaughtered by Sasuke's own brother while Sasuke himself was still in the house. Sasuke never told police what happened, claimed he couldn't remember, shock they had said. They had claimed that shock would cause a person's brain to block out the unpleasant memories.

But the haunted obsidian depths that were now locked with his own pools of blue were anything but 'in shock'. In that moment those eyes spoke volumes. Sasuke had seen it all, and kept it all bottled up inside. The red tint around his iris's spoke of how he was avoiding breakdown, and how very stoned he was right now, and the deep purple coloring under his eyes told of how very tired he was of it all, of all the sleepless nights, of not remembering stretches of time. Yes, Sasuke Uchiha looked close to a breaking point in that one vulnerable moment. Then it was gone. The mask was up. Cold, irritated, calculating Sasuke stared back at him after that moment, and Naruto rolled his eyes and looked back to his notes, wondering what he should do.

Sasuke was the first out of the door when the bell rang, and he quickly made his way to his locker. He wanted to get his materials for his next class as quick as possible, hopefully avoiding Naruto in the process. He still felt as though he was in a numb sort of daze, so he wasn't really all too worried about Naruto, that would come later when he realized how Naruto had been looking at him. Nope, right now he was just following the old routine of avoiding everything with a pulse. So as he made his way to his next class, he didn't see the way Naruto watched him, studied him. In his haze he didn't notice a certain blond putting the pieces together..and that would prove to be a very grave mistake for the proud Uchiha.

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Naruto was exhausted, he had spent the whole day studying Sasuke, trying to figure out what was going on with him. It was a hard job. Sasuke sat in his desk, pretended to take notes, didn't talk to anyone, didn't so much at look at anyone else. These things were varying degrees of normal. Before his parents' death he had always been cold. He had ignored others, but he had done it out of arrogance. He looked at the other students in the room as if they were gum on his shoe that would not come off. Now he didn't look at them at all, he was practically pretending he didn't exist instead of the other way around. It was bothersome. Naruto knew that Sasuke was upset, that was a given, anyone would be upset. But when most people are upset they tell anyone who will listen, just to get it out. They turn to their friends, not run from them. Then again, Naruto hadn't really been Sasuke's 'friend' they had just started to talk after being in all the same classes this semester. Sasuke didn't really talk to anyone, and Naruto had just pestered the shit out of him until Sasuke figured it would be easier to talk to him than ignore him. They had really just clicked into an uneasy friendship. Sasuke, disdainful and competitive, Naruto, eager to prove himself and competitive. Test scores, who could take the notes quickest (you had to be able to read them..so Sasuke had always won that), who found the answers in the book faster, who solved the problem faster, who opened their bag faster, who got to class first, who was in their seat first, it ALL became a miniature competition. Then, Sasuke's tragedy happened, and he was out of school for a week dealing with the funeral and all, then things weren't the same. Sasuke no longer sat near Naruto, no longer even acknowledged him, no more simple contests...nope it was simply the ignorer and the ignored, and it sucked.

Naruto sighed, bringing himself out of his thoughts. He knew where Sasuke lived, maybe he could just drop by. _yea and say what? Hey sasuke, just stopping by to see why you stopped talking to me, and why you look so tired. Or better yet, Hey Sasuke when you looked at me in 1st block this morning I had this weird feeling that you are miserable and that you saw everything that happened with your brother, why dont you open up to me, basically a stranger, since you wouldnt talk to the police or a psychiatrist? _Even in his own head it sounded completely stupid.  
_I need to really think about this. I've got to find a way for him to open up to me._

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AN: so hopefully that was a good start, please review and let me know how I did, if i should give it up now. Possible ideas, things this may have made you think of, whatever. XD Just give me some feed back please.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN! **ok..got that settled then.

**AN: **I have received 1 review. And so for that one person, I will write **3**. For the many other lazy _s.o.b.'s_ that have read and not reviewed...I'm sad. Click the review link, make up a name, throw in an email so I can thank you, and write how much you hated or loved the story and why. Or if you have an account, you login and write a review. _THEN_ I know if I should spend a week writing a new chap.

**SO** thank you so very much **Dragon77**. I freaking love you!! xD

_( bah humbug to the bastards that didn't care enough to review, sorry if I offend anyone, but I'm kinda peeved. )_

this is a little rough, but i couldnt figure out what to do to fix it, so here it is, Review please.

**Warning: a bit of a gore scene in this chapter. Don't read if you can't handle it. Its toward the end where Sasuke's memories start. His memories at the bottom are all in **_italics_** so consider that your warning that gore will soon follow. I would tone it down...but I feel like it would have to take a lot to break Sasuke, and it adds to his need to escape. Just death can be handled with time and grieving..but slaughter takes some serious help, because the images are forever stuck in your head (in my opinion)...so yea. No apologies, just a warning..definitely rated M for a reason.**

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The day had been long. The walk home had been longer, and it was too damn hot to go back outside.

He checked his phone, for what seemed like the millionth time, for a new text. He was waiting on Lee, his dealer, to text him back. Lee was a bit annoying, but what do you expect when your damn near cracked out of your skull* everyday of your life. He was always sprinting around and running around like he had lost his damn mind, it was a wonder he hadn't been busted yet. The guy was practically a walking advertisement for what ice** can do for you.

Sasuke's leg was shaking from the vigorous way he was tapping his heel to the floor, his toes remaining firmly planted. _God damn it, you would think a little money would motivate his sorry ass to put his energy to some good damn use. If he didn't __use__ all the shit before he could sell it, he wouldn't be so damn broke...god damn, sorry ass, stupid...._Sasuke's thoughts continued to run in circles calling the rambunctious youth every foul name and obscenity he could string together.

Finally his phone vibrated, and before the screen could even light up properly Sasuke was hitting the green button to read his new text. **Nope. **Sasuke blinked and looked at the screen again in irritation and disbelief. "God damn son of a BITCH!!" This last word was emphasized by him throwing his phone across the kitchen, where it slammed into the sliding glass door. The kitchen was large, and his voice echoed across the space, bouncing off of stainless steel appliances, black marble counter tops and white marble floors. Suddenly he was hauntingly reminded of how very empty this house was. Usually he distracted himself, or didn't come home; this time he had no means of distraction. No drugs, no where to go, nothing to do. It was first day back from break and he didn't have any work or studying to do. He started to shake as the memories of humming drifted through the kitchen like a gentle breeze. The memories of his mother baking deserts and polishing the still shimmering appliances. Sasuke looked around desperately, pain and fear evident in his face, it was as if he could see it all over again. The memories continued to surface, the sound of his brother in the backyard, his fathers car pulling up and him knowing that his father would walk in the door and nod at him before going out to congratulate Itachi on whatever accomplishment had outshone Sasuke this time. His mothers knowing smile as she gave him a slice of pie, the warm smell of blackberry pie was almost washing over him as he stood, the force sending the stainless steel and leather seated stool clanging to the floor noisily as he sprinted from the room, not even bothering to grab his phone from across the kitchen.

Shaking he made his way through the long winding hallways, pictures of his family looming out of the darkness, his brothers face seeming to mock him. Finally he made it to the stairs where he climbed, his breathing ragged, his hands in his hair as he fought the memories and closed his eyes, stumbling every now and then. After what had felt like hours of mental anguish he made it to his room, and collapsed in the door way, sobs racking his body. _No more, no more, no more...I can't do this anymore..I can't handle this, I cant keep running from myself..Why am I even bothering..What could I possibly make of myself? What if Itachi shows up to finish me too...? _Sasuke's mind instantly flashed with the scenes of blood splatters and blank eyes staring at him in frozen fear and shock. He screamed aloud in fear and frustration as he launched himself up from the floor to the large stereo system in his bed room. Forcefully, he mashed the play button and cranked up the volume. Heavy vocals tore out of the stereo, the bass shaking his floor as he sat on his love seat. The heavy rock music helped him to calm his racing mind, letting him focus on the lyrics rather than his own problems. _I don't know what to do..._ He thought as he chewed on his thumb nail, he knees tucked under his chin. Sometimes being numb was easy..and others times..like now...he found himself unable to cope. It was like everything had to be equal. For every moment he spent blissfully numb and indifferent, he was forced to be staring at reality, haunted by memories and fear in this overly large house.

He reached behind him to slide open a window, and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He lit one with a some what more steady hand, noting that his knuckles still didn't look to great, but the pain was gone. They were mostly just itchy since they were healing now. Thats when the idea struck him, how the pain had distracted him last night, how while creating the pain in his hand by punching the slide, he had successfully managed to think of nothing else. He grinned as he took in a slow drag of his cigarette.

He had found a new way to distract himself.

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Naruto slowly made his way up the stairs to his apartment. Luckily he lived within walking distance of the school, just down a suburban street, cut across the large field and don't let the huge thorn things go through the sole of his worn out converse, and then he was crossing a road and into the side gate of the apartment. Most of the time he had to climb the gate because he forgot the code. Lucky for him he had received the notice with the new code yesterday.

He reached forward unlocking the door, glad that he had the place to himself, Kiba was out with Shikamaru and Shino at the arcade, they had left right after school. Naruto had been invited, but he really hadn't felt like doing anything except go home and eat.

His body felt heavy, today just seemed more exhausting than it should have been. Sure, he had to get up early again for the first time in weeks, and he had to take notes and fight the crowded hallways..but the most exhausting thing was trying to come up with a way to get close to Sasuke again.

He collapsed on the couch, narrowly missing banging his knees on the coffee table. _I could call him...if I look up his number in the phone book. He never gave me his number, so that may seem a little out of place.... I could tell him I was just worried about him_ ,He winced at the gushy, girlish comment,_ Yea, then he can hang up on me for being an idiot __and__ a stalker. _His thoughts continued to circle themselves, yielding no new ideas. He had been doing this all day. Beating himself up over a situation that wasn't even in his control. He simply couldn't help it. The way Sasuke had looked at him this morning..it hadn't left his mind. It was downright obvious that Sasuke had been on something, his eyes were totally bloodshot, and his pupils weren't the right size. That was something Naruto never expected of Sasuke.

Sure, this was High School, and it was senior year, plenty of people were smoking pot and drinking too much, dabbling in drugs and all that...it was just picturing Sasuke into all of that...just didn't seem to fit.

Most of the people that were doing drugs, were doing them to appear cool, or just out of curiosity. Neither of those explanations fit Sasuke at all. He didn't care what anyone thought of him, and he definitely wouldn't be doing them _**at school**_ if he was 'curious'. _And he looked so tired.., like he could have just fallen out any minute. What has he been doing the past two weeks? I didn't see him at all. Not one damn time.. and I was watching for him the whole time too..I even went to that damn coffee shop he loves so much, just to see if he was there. _Naruto simply stared at the floor. _That does it! Tomorrow the bastard is going to talk to me whether he likes it or not. I will sit __on__ his desk if I have to._

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Sasuke stared down at his arm. He had his left hand in the bathroom sink, his hand balled up into a fist, his elbow resting on the edge of the peach colored marble surface. The tan slate was somewhat cool under his bare feet. He had broken open a disposable razor that he had found under the sink, and was now holding a very thin, flimsy razor blade. It was about the length of a AA battery, only half as tall and probably about as thick as a piece of tape. Sasuke stared from the razor to his wrist several times before looking at himself in the mirror. In the glaring fluorescents of his bathroom it was very easy to see the deep purple lines under his eyes, he hadn't slept very well or very long for quite some time now. Though to see the evidence in his face disturbed him some, it was his eyes that made him flinch away from the mirror. Those weren't his eyes. Those were not the eyes he had seen in the mirror everyday of his life, holding onto a fierce determination to make something of himself. No, these eyes were dull and full of fear and pain..two emotions he had held at bay all his life..he was a failure. He touched the cool metal of the razor to his exposed wrist.

_I deserve this..I deserve every bit of pain I can manage to give myself..I am worthless..Not even worth killing.._The memories came rushing back to him like water crashing over a dam.......

_Sasuke sat cowering in his room after finding his mother's corpse in the kitchen. Blood had covered the floor, startling rich red contrasting over bright immaculate white. His mothers unseeing eyes had remained open in shock even in her death, their once sparkling depths were now simply a flat brown. Horror was painted in the frame of her mouth, her lipstick slightly askew, and Sasuke couldn't seem to look away from her face, raven hair drenched in blood seemed to frame that face so perfectly. When he finally did look to the rest of her, he found himself wishing he hadn't. The bottom half of her body was..detached..from the rest. He could see her organs attempting to spill out of the papery casing of her flesh..Bile had risen up in his throat and he had stood turning to run, when he heard his fathers pain filled screams echoing across the foyer. Flight mode took over and he was upstairs in his room, door locked, hunkered down on his love seat, before he could even register the fact that he wanted to run. The screams had followed him the whole way,becoming slightly gargley, before abruptly stopping. A sickening crack had then resounded up the stairs. Later Sasuke would wonder how he had heard all of that, considering the size of the mansion, the only conclusion was that adrenaline heightened everything. In his fear he began to wonder where his brother was, and if he was alright. Though he may have been jealous of his brother, he by no means wanted him to die. Itachi had always looked out __for him in a way, bandaging knees after a bike fall, swimming laps in the pool while Sasuke read a book outside. Itachi had always been near enough to keep an eye on him . Even in a home this large, Sasuke never truly felt alone thanks to his arrogant, attention hogging brother. Thats when he heard it...a singing drifting up the stairs..the sound of metal dragging against tile and grout and the clang clang of said metal bouncing stair by stair behind its owner. Fear gripped Sasuke's throat like a vice...what if they found him..his door was locked but suddenly that seemed like not only a dead give away that he was inside, but also a childish gesture..if this person really wanted in, it wouldn't take much. He began to look around the room helplessly, what could he do?! He had no means of defense, and all the self defense Itachi had ever taught him flew right out the window...maybe Itachi would save him. Then the unthinkable happened...he heard Itachi's voice and thought for one heart stopping moment that his wish had come true..."Little brother? Why are you hiding from me?" Itachi sang in his sing song voice. Sasuke's heart felt as though it were suddenly made of lead. The silence in the room suddenly felt as though he could taste it, and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. Time seemed to stop as he realized that Itachi was not his savior, but his murderer. Before he could even truly comprehend the horror of his situation, the door knob jiggled. The rattling of the brass object seemed ominous, and all he could do was stare at the object with his mouth open in a wide 'O' of terror. He heard a swipe and a click as the lock was surpassed with a credit card. Then the door swung wide, and there stood Itachi. His jeans and green and white sports coat were both covered in blood, his face looked mocking and cold. His hair was still immaculately smooth and pulled together at the base of his neck with the same black rubber band, a few strands were astray and framing his face. In his hand was a Katana that had been on display in fathers office. Sasuke had never seen it out of its case before. Itachi's hands were covered in blood, and he was slowly walking to Sasuke, his sword dragging behind him. The sound of carpet against metal was what snapped Sasuke out of his trance. "w-wh-what a-a-are you doing?" Sasuke had asked, his voice barely a whisper, and tears welling up in his eyes. At this Itachi had stopped, a mere few inches from him, and laughed. He laughed as though this was all a joke, and it was the funniest thing he had ever come across. "Are you worried for your life, foolish little brother?" He had stopped laughing now, and his face had grown cold. "As if I would waste my time killing you. Look at you crying like the coward you are..did you even think to call the police? Did you even attempt to help father? This could have all been prevented if you weren't such a fool!" he practically spit the last word out, and he reached a blood drenched hand out to caress Sasuke's face. Sasuke flinched away from Itachi as well as the blood on his hands, feeling the cool sensation of the blood on his skin. He could smell the coppery smell on him, and it reminded him of mother...how much of that blood was hers? He gagged, causing Itachi to laugh again in mockery. "oh how you make me laugh, little Sasuke, we will meet again...oh yes we will..." and he had walked out of Sasuke's room as if this were any other day, and he hummed tunelessly down the stairwell. Sasuke didn't move until he heard the sirens...apparently someone had seen Itachi leaving the house covered in blood and carrying the Katana._

Sasuke quickly drug the razor over his wrist, successfully bringing himself out of his memories,and hissing at the pain. _This is nothing compared to.._ He stopped his thoughts again with another quick slice, this time he had done it more aggressively, anxious to stop the memories, and the result had been a deeper cut. The throb of his wrist had had his eyes closed against the world, but the cold sensation of something trickling down his wrist made his eyes open. He stared down at the small bead of blood making its way down his arm, and the small red stained trail it left behind. _Its cold..i thought it would be warm.._he grinned at the irony _Naruto did always tell me I was cold hearted.._ He grinned again and continued to stare at the small bead of blood, another form of addiction now gripping at his brain.

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*: imagine you drank 10 Red Bulls (or whatever energy drink) and you couldn't sit still or you thought you might explode. That is loosely what you would call 'cracked out'

**: Meth (BAD 4 U!! )


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own the fantastic-ness that is Naruto. :)**

right now I have a lot of ideas bouncing around in my skull . I have a decent idea where this is going, but I wouldn't mind hearing what you think so far, or what you think will happen.

As always, review please...but if you don't, then whatever. Lol. I'm finding that I am very proud of my work so far. _BUT_ reviews do make me want to write faster for the people that enjoy my work.

**Dedicated to myfailsafe. **--U have been an amazing inspiration, and fun to talk to. ^.^

Also dedicated to **yessuka** and **Dragon77** for their ego boosting reviews. Thanks y'all.

Naruto sat in his desk, tapping his pencil impatiently on his paper. It was still early, there were probably another 5 minutes left until class actually started, but he couldn't get the thought of Sasuke out of his head. _He'll be here, he was here yesterday, it's just really early, because I am an idiot and couldn't sit at home at take my time like a normal person, I didn't even eat my damn ramen this morning..this is ridiculous! Why am I even worrying so damn much?_

Naruto continued to worry, shifting in his seat, tapping his pencil on his paper, and occasionally chewing on the eraser until, with only a minute to spare, Sasuke walked through the door.

The pale black haired teen made his way to his seat without ever looking up, not once noticing that Naruto was sitting next to him today. Sasuke slid into his seat, dropping his book bag to the ground beside him, and placing a binder on his desk in the process. He folded his arms on the desk, and laid his head down.

Naruto stared at him in wonder. Sasuke definitely wasn't acting like Sasuke. Naruto looked down at himself. He was wearing a blue shirt, a pair of tan cargo shorts, and a pair of sandals. Sasuke was wearing a pair of jeans, skater shoes, and a very big, black, long sleeved shirt.

_What the hell is wrong with him? Doesn't he realize it's..like..78 degrees outside?! Maybe he just needs to do some laundry, probably never had to do his own laundry in his life _He laughed at his own lame joke.

Sasuke stared at the light filtering through his arms onto the plastic surface of his desk. He didn't want to be here. The fabric shifting against his arms was stinging. _Whats the point? Why do I even bother showing up here? What is a diploma going to get me? I have enough money to support at least three generations of five different families...There is no point in even existing..Itachi will show up again one day..NO NO NO!! Don't think about that damn it!! He won't, they will fucking catch him!_

He sat up, straightening in his seat, and for the first time, he noticed where Naruto was seated.

Directly next to him. Close enough that if he dropped his pencil, Naruto would grab it.

He was too close. Much too close. He wrinkled his nose as the smell of Naruto's cologne hit him. It was a nice smell, like morning dew after a hot summer's night. Like midnight by the water...He almost smiled. Almost. Instead he settled for a glare directed at a certain blond _dobe_ next to him.

_What does he think he is doing? Staring at me yesterday, and now sitting next to me?! Has he lost his damn mind, or did I not make it clear that I want nothing to do with him?_ His thoughts drifted over the past month. Naruto trying vainly to talk to him, then trying to pester him into speech, then finally giving up once Sasuke had moved seats, and left no where for Naruto to sit.

_No, I made it pretty damn clear. Maybe it's just coincidence._

With that final thought, Sasuke went back to his usual routine of scribbling idly across his notebook paper.

Naruto felt the heat of an Uchiha glare directed at the side of his face. Inwardly he flinched as he continued to pretend to do the bell work on the board at the front of the class. He liked this class because his teacher, who insisted on going by his first name, Kakashi, was never on time. Not only that , but he also hated to actually teach. So he simply put some crap on the board, or notes on the overhead, and let the class do what they want until the end of class. They got graded on whatever they gave him at the end of each class. This gave Naruto plenty of opportunity, for the next hour and a half, to attempt to talk to Sasuke.

Talking to Sasuke proved to be much harder than he had originally anticipated. For the past hour and twenty-six minutes he had tried to strike up a conversation with the broody man next to him. He had teased him, he had talked to him, he had asked him questions about everything from his opinion of the weather all the way down to asking if he liked Broadway shows. Naruto had received nothing. Not even a glare, not once. He had been totally ignored throughout the whole class.

Exasperated, he reached out and grabbed Sasuke's arm, intending to force him to turn and talk to him; what he did not expect was for Sasuke to cry out in pain and jerk his arm back. He felt the smooth cotton fabric slip through his fingers, and his blue eyes opened wide in shock, staring at the man before him. He hadn't meant to hurt him. His delicate face settled on a confused expression as he locked eyes with the furious obsidian depths.

The bell chose that moment to ring, breaking off the heat of Sasuke's glare, and the awkward silence that had stretched between them. It was like a rubber band had been cut, and snapped back to hit them both in the face.

They both jumped into action. Sasuke snatching up all his things and dashing for the door, Naruto grabbing his bag and dashing out after him. Apologies where swirling around half formed in his head when the realization that Sasuke could be injuring himself practically smacked him in the forehead.

It made sense. Sasuke's decision to wear long sleeves when it was close to 80 degrees outside. He had been wearing a normal t-shirt yesterday, and had been using his arm just fine, there hadn't been anything wrong with it.

Naruto stopped.

Without warning he stopped in the middle of the hallway, causing the people behind him to push him and curse angrily at him, then finally going around him.

He couldn't believe it. _There has to be another explanation..he cant have started that.._

Naruto subconsciously ran a finger along his own forearm..lost in thought.

AN: Okay, so thats the end of that chapter..**i swear the next one will be better**, and I will post it more quickly...this one was total crap..sorry. I keep trying to re-do it, and it just comes out worse. I honestly think I should just re-write the whole damn story. I dunno. Tell me what you think, I am going to go eat my pizza.

-jiz


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **still not mine. v.v

**Dedicated to: **..Edgar Allen Poe...

**AN: **this is good. I like this chapter. -big smile- It came out better than I had thought and I am very happy about it. ^.^

Raven hair made it's hasty escape into the nearest men's restroom. He pushes his way into the stinky stall, sliding the rusting bar into place, holding the door closed. With a defeated sigh he ploped onto the toilet behind him, and stared ahead. The shiny blue plastic laminate covering the door is scribbled on with fading sharpie, blue spray paint chipping off from where custodians covered a particularly nasty comment.

_I can do this. I am Sasuke UCHIHA!..I can handle this. _

He placed a hand over his heart, the epicenter of the leaden feeling that was taking over his body, letting his fingers grip the soft fabric of his shirt, his hand slowly fisting against his heart as he battled against the pain, attempting to gain some semblance of control over himself.

_That damn dobe, grabbing my arm, what was he thinking? _

_Grabbing people..psh...he has no right to touch me. _

_He doesn't even know me. _

_Who does he think he is? _

_Sitting next to me, trying to get under my skin. _

_Fucking bastard. _

_Doesn't know a damn thing about anything. _

_What would he know about what I go through. _

_Idiot..dobe. _

_I fucking hate him, what the fuck was I thinking?_

_,....__**you were looking for a real friend**__..._

_shut up, damn it..._

He squeezed his eyes shut against the hot frustrated tears that were threatening to escape, and roughly pushed the heels of his palms to his eyes.

_I'll show the bastard, he can't get to me that easily. _

_Prick.._

_dobe.._

_**friend**_

_shut up.._

"Hey fucker! MOVE!" Naruto looked around at the familiar voice, snapping out of his stupor for a moment and turning to look behind him. "Hey man, what the hell are you doing? Being a road block is not exactly a wise career choice."

Naruto smiled, his right hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck, as a skinny muscular guy walked up. His brown hair was a mess and looked like he rolled out of bed and ran here. His green and white striped polo was wrinkled and clashed horribly with the red triangular tattoos on his face. His tan cargo capris seemed to be barely hanging on to his waist, and his purple flip-flops made absolutely no sense with his outfit

_..Kiba_.

"Nah, just day dreamin',.."

"Dude! That reminds me!" He exclaimed, jumping up with an air of excitement,

"You missed one hell of a party last night! I tried to call but you never answered your phone...you have some one over?" the brunette haired man replied with a suggestive wink.

"NO!" Naruto replied, a bit vehemently.

"Oh,... so you were pullin' a loner...glad you didn't answer" Kiba replied, his face pulling up in mild disgust, a joking twinkle in his eye.

Naruto rolled his eyes, " Is that all you ever think about? And No, that is not what I was doing, I went to bed early, getting up early again is fucking killing me!"

"You have Kakashi first block, what they hell are you complaining about? Just go to sleep! You know he doesn't give a fuck!" Kiba answered, lightly punching Naruto in the arm. "Well, whatever dude, I gotta get to class, I have health this period with Hinata." He said, as if that simply explained everything. And in a way, it did. Kiba had been in love with Hinata for as long as Naruto could remember, though Kiba would never admit it.

Naruto sighed, pulling his bag more securely into place on his shoulder, and shuffled into his next class.

The classroom was rapidly filling with students taking whatever seat they wanted. There weren't any assigned seats in this class, it was just an art class. Tables scattered across the room, half covered in paints and chalks. Naruto grabbed his portfolio out of the narrow shelf he was assigned, and made his way across the carpeted room to his table of choice.

He was placing his bag on the floor beside the chair, and gathering his needed supplies, pondering the meaning of his exchange with Sasuke earlier, when the devil himself walked through the door.

Sasuke strode into the class, his mask firmly in place.

_That fucker, i'll show him. _

_He does not affect me._

Sasuke pulled out a chair next to said 'fucker' and sat down. He did not cast a single glance over to naruto, nor did he say anything, He just sat down, pulled out his ipod and sketchbook, and set about ignoring Naruto just like any other day.

He opened to the first page, where he had written out his favorite poem:

"_We wear the mask that grins and lies,_

_It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes-_

_This debt we pay to human guile,_

_With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,_

_And mouth with myriad subtleties._

_Why should the world be over-wise,_

_In counting all our tears and sighs?_

_Nay, let them only see us, while_

_We wear the mask._

_We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries,_

_To thee from tortured souls arise,_

_We sing, but oh the clay is vile,_

_Beneath our feet, and long the mile,_

_But let the world dream otherwise,_

_We wear the mask!"_

He had written it in a delicate script, adding ravens attempting to fly free from the confines of the page.

He let a pale slender finger trace the words lovingly.

_It's so true. _

_Such a simple poem to describe my entire life.._

He let loose a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, and started to turn the page when he realized a certain blond was staring at him. He stilled his thoughts and turned to glare at him.

The tenderness in Naruto's eyes caught him off guard. People didn't tend to look at him tenderly.

He didn't let his surprise and confusion show in his expression.

He had expected anger, assumptions and judgment.

He had prepared himself for it, mentally created the scenario, and mapped out the appropriate insults and reactions to keep Naruto away! This was not what he was expecting, this was not something he was ready to handle.

It pissed him off.

"What the fuck are you staring at?!" He said with as much venom as he could possibly push into those seven words.

He watched as Naruto jumped back about a foot, his mouth hanging open in surprise, apparently this was not the reaction he was expecting either.

_Dobe, what did he expect?_

_I would just open up and talk to him? _

_Pretend I know him and that he is just the best friend I never had?! _

_Pretend that I haven't been a total dick to him hoping he would just dissipate!?_

_What a complete..dobe._

"You think you know something about me? What make you think you know anything?!"

"Sasuke, I never sa-"

"Just fucking save it, I don't want to hear your shit. Just stop trying to talk to me, I was doing just fine until today...You bugging me all last block, grabbing me like I am your fucking boyfriend or something, just leave me the fuck alone."

"But your arm.." Naruto whispered, seemingly afraid that by voicing his thoughts that they would become reality.

"yea, what about it Naruto? It hurts and you grabbed it, whats the big fucking deal?"

"well..."

, Naruto swallowed, pausing in order to think of the appropriate words.

Sasuke was loosing his patience; more importantly he was loosing his composure.

"You...uh...did that..to..your-self..di-didn't you? Your arm, I mean." Naruto paused, apparently unsure of himself.

"Your a fucking moron. Why would I do -" Sasuke never got to finish his sentence, because Naruto chose that moment to lunge forward the 2 or three feet that were between them and wrench his sleeve up a good three inches.

Naruto gasped as Sasuke wrenched his arm away, shock leaving him stunned for a second before he used his other arm to swing forward and punch Naruto in the face. He jumped up, grabbing his bag, his ipod still dangling from his ears he fled the room. Damning all consequences he left, and took off at a sprint for his house.

Review plz. It always helps. If you ask me for a lemon, I will further delay such happenings. -.^

-Jiz


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **Okay, well, that last chapter seemed a bit rushed. People don't usually tend to just ask someone about the whole self mutilation thing...but...this _is_ Naruto we're talking about. Sometimes he has all the delicacy of sledgehammer...so lets just move it along, shall we?

**I don't own Naruto, I just like to day dream that I do. -insert scary, slightly manic, smiley here-**

**Dedications:** Still dedicated to my reviewers, Myfailsafe for being a wonderful friend and inspiration, and...I dunno...rubber duckies. ^.^

Naruto sat, in a mostly stunned silence for a few moments. His right hand covering the pounding sensation in his right cheek. He soon stood, most of the class casting anxious glances his way, a few people looking like they might come and ask him what happened now that the shock had passed.

_I've got to go catch up with him...his arm..what do I say to him?..._ He lowered his hand from his face, glancing at the faded few scars that striped across his arm.

_He needs someone to talk to, whether he wants to admit it or not. Every body needs somebody, even Honorable Prince Sasuke. _

Naruto quickly bent down and scooped up his bag, and, noticing Sasuke's sketchbook still laying innocently on the table, oblivious to the disappearance of its owner, he grabbed it as well, sliding it into his bag as he hastily made his way out of the door, nearly plowing over the substitute who was slowly trying to make her way towards the classroom, while balancing her lunch and various class notes.

Naruto spit out some inane excuse and continued to run, attempting to make up for lost time in catching up to Sasuke.

Sasuke's feverish sprint had very quickly become a sweaty exhausted walk. His arms stinging as the sweat made contact with his somewhat fresh cuts. The pain was almost a nice distraction from the turmoil of irritated, irrational, angry thoughts tumbling around and vying for attention in his head.

The key word being almost.

After a very long and hot journey, he finally found himself on his overly large doorstep, and he simply opened the door and let himself in. He hadn't bothered with locking the doors in what seemed like a very long time. Why bother? Perhaps he would get lucky one day and come back to find the place looted and burned down, then he would be free of the haunting memories that tried to surface every time something in the house even shifted, making him think for a moment that his mother or father were simply in the other room. That one moment in time where familiarity and instinct took over common sense, leaving him feeling more hopeless and forgotten than before.

He snapped out of his revere as the door closed with a muted '_click_' behind him.

_Where is my phone? _He wondered as he removed his ipod and set it on the table next to the door, dropping his bag next to the table as well.

A sudden flash of memories from the previous day, which now seemed so overly long to him, and he found himself in the kitchen, picking up his phone from the floor, where in a fit of rage he had seen fit to fling it across the great marbled kitchen.

As he powered the phone back on, apparently the toss had made it turn off, he set it on the counter and stripped off his shirt. The walk home had been entirely too hot in a long sleeved shirt.

As he dropped his shirt to the ground, the long gashes in his arms became entirely visible. Long narrow gashes, some going directly across his wrist, while others,went from nearly his elbow to his wrist. Some were so deep that if he moved wrong they would bleed afresh. There where even a few tentative cuts at his hips, where his pants and boxers nearly hid them.

Sasuke paused, and looked down at himself. He was still as pale as ever, making the red and rust colored streaks down his arms and across his hips stand out in stark relief.

His hip bones were starting to stick out a bit too much, and his muscles were slowly fading now that he wasn't working out. His collarbone was a bit obvious now, as well as his ribs.

At the moment he just looked a bit _too_ skinny, but if this continued, he would start to look sick.

As these thoughts crossed his mind, he just as quickly dismissed them.

And before another thought could cross his mind, his phone beeped.

He had a text message.

**'came by, not home. Ice cream in the freezer with a little candy for your wait. Bb2nite for payment'**

A small smirk crossed his face as he set the phone back down on the counter and slowly made his way to his freezer. His body was already tingling at the prospect of having it in his system once again. As he reached for the freezer door, he absently noticed his shaking hands.

With a small tug, and the sound of plastic being pulled away from metal, he saw his prize.

Three little zip lock-ish baggies with little heart designs on them.

He reached his right hand into the freezer and pulled out the slightly cool bags. They hadn't been in the freezer long, they were barely cool. He pocketed on two of the baggies, leaving the other resting innocently in the palm of his hand.

_Snort or smoke? It feels so much better to smoke it,...but I dont remember where I put my pipe, I can always use a light bulb. I think I remember where I put the pipe..._

Sasuke walked down the long hallway, through the foyer and up the formal stairs to the left side of the home, where he followed down another long hallway until he came to his wing of the house and turned into his bedroom. He quickly twirled around as if to lock his door, when he paused with a humored look on his face..

_what am I doing? There isn't any one here anymore._

He slowly turned back around and away from the door, towards his desk. His desk was large, wooden and painted black with silver bars making up the main frame, and silver handles on the drawers and cabinets.

In fact most of his room was in black, silver, and glass. His love seat was black, his bed had black satin sheets and a black downy comforter all on a silver bed frame complete with a head board and small foot board that didn't rise above the matress. The king sized bed was on the left of the room, the love seat was positioned in front of the windows. He had black out curtains over his windows, although right now they were pulled aside, letting in some light.

His laptop was the only thing in the room that wasn't black, silver, or glass. It was red. Bright ass tomato red. His favorite color. And it stood out like a sore thumb in his room.

He smirked at the laptop, before a frown crossed his features. The memory of receiving it, an early Christmas gift from his brother, away from the prying and disdainful eyes of their father. The memory started out pleasant...until the next memory, of the slaughter crossed his mind.

He squished his eyes shut for a moment, and ran a hand up the back of his head, attempting to calm himself.

Obsidian orbs flashed open, a determined and excited gleam alight in them as he reached out and opened one of his desk drawers, pulling out a glass vase holding a plastic rose. He removed the rose and the little plastic heart at the base of the vase, and voila! Pipe.

_Hn._

_now for the fun to begin._

He sauntered over to his bed, excitement thrumming through his veins . He set the pipe on the bed carefully, and dropped the largest shard he could find in his baggie into his pipe. Then, he laid across his bed and used his lighter to light the small 'tea' candle on his night stand.

He carefully put the end of the pipe over the flame, not too close, he didn't want to burn it, and slowly turned it, trying not to keep the heat in one place and watched as it melted, and the smoke started to swirl.

He put his mouth to the end, and took in all the smoke he could, still vigorously twirling his pipe, and breathed it out quickly before taking his next hit. Every now and then removing the pipe from the flame and allowing it to cool, burned ice was always a waste, and never tasted good.

His favorite part was watching it re-crystallize in the base of the pipe....he wasn't sure why, it just fascinated him.

Naruto had finally made it into the area he knew Sasuke's house to be in, now it was just a matter of finding it. For some reason, when he pictured coming over to Sasuke's house, he always seemed to forget that Sasuke wasn't the only dude who lived in a mansion around here. He had been walking around aimlessly for the past ten minutes before he finally realized that there were the family's initials in the iron work of their gates.

So far that revelation hadn't helped him any, because none of them had a 'U' in the gate work.

Just as he was about to give up, he saw one mansion in the distance with no gate. It was **huge** though, much bigger than the rest of the mansions and oversize homes in this area.

He decided to follow his gut, and take a chance. Plus, he was fucking hot! Walking around aimlessly in the heat, with his book bag and all that shit was not exactly a fun way to spend the afternoon.

So down the drive way he went.

When he finally made it to the door, he reached for the door bell but stopped as he noticed the Uchiha Crest engraved in the ornate door knob. Sasuke used to have a ring with the same crest on it.

_Thank fucking god! I finally made it.._

Without further adieu, he opened the door and walked in. The first thing he noticed was Sasuke's bag and ipod next to the door.

He looked around, the staircase, the numerous hallways.

_Oh, geeze..now how the hell do I find the bastard? Well, what do I do when I get home?...I'm usually hungry..so I'd be in the kitchen...where the fuck is his kitchen?_

He simply started walking forward.

_Kitchens are usually on the bottom floor of a house...although he may have his own personal kitchen the way this place looks...well shit, gotta start somewhere. _

_I could yell his name, but I would probably scare the shit out of him...yea...best to just find him._

So, he just made his way forward and down a hallway, at the end of the rather wide and long hallway was an archway which lead to a very impressive kitchen.

_Holy shit! This kitchen is bigger than my apartment!_

He traced a longing hand over the spotless counter, and then he saw it, Sasuke's cell phone.

Without hesitation, he picked it up and noticed the text message still on the screen.

**'came by, not home. Ice cream in the freezer with a little candy for your wait. Bb2nite for payment'**

With a puzzled expression, he walked over to what he assumed was a freezer, and opened it.

He was rewarded with a burst of very cold air traveling across his sweat dampened forehead.

"Ahhh...that feels nice" He allowed his eyes to close for a moment, enjoying the sensation.

_Okay, back to work...ice cream and candy in the freezer...that seems like a weird thing to bring over..and to make sure some one pays you for..._his memory flashed to yesterday, how red Sasuke's eyes had been...

_oh shit..'ice cream' and 'candy'...he's into some hard shit...fuck! I've gotta find him! He could kill himself doing that shit!_

He cast his eyes around, willing himself to have a superpower or something to help him figure out where the hell Sasuke would be. He glanced out the sliding glass doors behind him..there was no one there, just a big ass pool and gazebo and the usual 'mansion shit'.

There had been some stairs when he came in, Sasuke's bed room or something had to be up there somewhere. So thats where he started to go, when he stepped on something. He looked down and picked up the item. It was Sasuke's shirt from earlier today. Naruto felt his mouth go dry for a moment, and a swooping in his belly. He wasn't sure why, and as he placed it on the counter, he caught a whiff of cologne. It smelled like a cold night in a meadow, the smell made him smile. So familiar and yet so foreign.

_What the hell am I doing? Smelling people's dirty clothes? What the fuck?!_

With a mental shiver, he continued with his previous mission of seeking out the stair case and finding Sasuke.

Once he reached the top of the stairs, he could either go to the right side of the house, or the left, down the various hallways. He chose left, for no particular reason other than he was already standing on the left side, and started walking.

Naruto had been down several hallways now and was getting exasperated, until he reached the end of the one he was currently in and found a 'media room' of sorts. A huge TV, game systems, books, a pool table, a mini bar..this had to be Sasuke's stuff, it was all black, and silver and glass, with a few splashes of red here and there. So...this had to mean Sasuke's room was near.

So he turned around to look for a door, and tried the first one he found.

It was unlocked, so he opened it, and simply walked in, not really expecting to have actually found the right room. He had been searching for so long, that it felt like a game he was never going to win.

So he was totally surprised when he opened it to see Sasuke laying across his bed, with no shirt on, smoking over a candle, a little bag laying innocently next to him.

Anything he might have been planning to say froze in his throat at the sight.

It just seemed to wrong, so backwards..

not to mention he could actually see all of one of Sasuke's arms now..

this wasn't right.

This wasn't Sasuke.

Sasuke breathed out the last hit, his pipe now fogged up, the former puddle now gone, and he could feel the fluttering in his belly, the thrumming of his pulse, his skin felt alive, and his foot was shaking.

God, how he felt, so alive!

Then he felt that nagging feeling that he was being watched, so as he set his pipe down on his night stand and pocketed the baggie, he looked up to see Naruto standing there. Tall tan Naruto, in his bright blue shirt that brought out his eyes, his too long hair pushed back and still sticking out at odd angles all over the place,...

His reaction was immediate, he jumped off the bed and stood facing Naruto from the left side of the bed,

"what the hell are you doing here?!"

He couldn't help but sound simply exasperated instead of angry, his high wouldn't allow him to feel anger, he just felt like he was flying and all of this was happening in some other world to some other person.

He felt like he could talk for days, and draw and write and roll across his bed simply enjoying the sensation.

So he simply flopped back down on his bed in defeat. His arms spread wide, staring at the ceiling.

_He shouldn't be here..he shouldn't see me like this..fuck it._

Naruto simply stared open mouthed, an answer not even beginning to form on his lips as he watched the odd display of emotion that was going on with Sasuke.

This was so backwards...this Sasuke with pupils the size of quarters..mutilated...and simlpy falling apart at the seams..was so out of place.

This wasn't Sasuke...

_How the hell do I fix this? _

He closed his mouth and moved towards the bed, deciding that humor was the best way to lighten any situation.

So in direct mime of him, he flopped onto the bed next to him...."So...hows it goin'?"

**AN: ** so I hope this chapter kinda makes up for not posting for so long...sorry. Lol.

If it seems a little weird,..well it is. Drugs make everything weird...and I may edit this chapter later, but for now, this is it.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:** yea..I'm not sure about this chapter, I think I like it, and then I don't, lol. I know where I want this to go, but I don't want to rush it, and I feel like I am. -sigh- oh well.

**Warnings: **there is some explicit drug use in this story, its what makes up the whole plot, Sasuke's plunge into darkness. Drugs r bad mmmkay? I am in no way condoning the use of drugs.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters of this story, all I own is my imagination.

**Sorry if the lines that I use to separate P.O.V.'s Aren't showing up. I keep trying to fix it, its just not working. Half the time there aren't even spaces where I put them...its aggravating. I will fix it as soon as I can, sorry, I thought it was fixed until I previewed the story and saw it!**

**-Jiz**

------------------------------------

Sasuke laughed. The easy chuckle slipped past his lips without a second thought as he turned his head to look at Naruto. "how's it going?..Is that all you can come up with?"

"yep, thats it." Naruto grinned.

"what the hell are you doing here?" Sasuke asked, the humor had still not left his voice, he was too high to really care. He felt like he could just lay here and talk for hours, let go of all his shields and just talk.

He hadn't felt this way before. Usually when he smoked he went and lost himself in a video game, drew while he listened to music, got on the computer and lost himself for hours on the Internet, or the few times he was with other people at the various drug houses he had visited he ended up just watching everyone else talk, or wandering off to the park where he swung and smoked cigarettes before coming home. This was totally new to him. He had never had the option to talk to anyone before, unless of course he talked to himself..which he had done once or twice also.

"I'm really worried about you Sasuke..I know that sounds really weird, you don't even really know me..but..your arms..and now this". He made a swirling gesture with his hand above them, as if to indicate the present situation, aka Sasuke and his drugs, "it won't help you, it wont get you anywhere, you will eventually put yourself in a hole you cant get out of...and if you keep pushing people away, then no one will be there to help pull you back out."

Sasuke couldn't remove the grin from his face, Naruto's words seemed to bounce off of him, "Naruto, it will all be okay...I just need this for now, okay. Its not forever, I could stop if I wanted to, but right now...i just need it...and there is nothing wrong with that."

_this is nice..talking to someone...its been a while..maybe he can stay around for a bit. _

Sasuke looked over to Naruto, his obsidian depths locking with azure pools, his confident smile over-riding Naruto's confused and worried expression

------------------------------------

Naruto wasn't sure what to say, he could think of a whole lot of things wrong with him doing his drugs, but Sasuke didn't seem to want to hear it right now. He was still a little unnerved by the smiling. As long as he had been around Sasuke, he had only ever seen him smirk and 'hn'.

God this shit was backwards.

_Maybe I can just chill over here for a few hours, it's got to get lonely in this big ass house, maybe if I can help him see that he isn't alone, he wont think he 'needs' all this shit......_

_yea...i don't even know what to say to him though, I barely even know him..._

"I need a cigarette.", Sasuke said as he got off the bed, "you coming?"

Naruto watched him as he sat up and stood, leaving his warm indention in the black down comforter, and made his way towards the door. Naruto couldn't help but look at Sasuke's arms,...to do all that in one night, he couldn't imagine how much pain was currently being hidden by the raven haired man's drugs and his usual facade. The raven turned to look at him once he had reached the door. Naruto sat up also, leaving the extreme comfort that was Sasuke's bed and followed him.

"Yea, yea, don't get your panties in a twist, teme, I'm coming"

"dobe", Sasuke scoffed, the weird high induced smile still resting on his lips

---------

And so they journeyed through the house, down long hallways Naruto had not yet ventured into yet, until they finally reached a large sun room. They sat upon one of the many comfortable patio furniture couches that were placed throughout the room where Sasuke proceeded to smoke the rest of his cigarettes while talking to Naruto about absolutely nothing and everything all at the same time. They sat there for several hours, Naruto simply listening to memories of Sasuke's childhood, about his first days in this house, about the first day he saw Naruto back when they were in the 5th grade and years later the day he and Naruto started to get along and how Sasuke was secretly glad because he had never really had a friend before, if they could even call what they had before a friendship. The had even talked loosely about today's previous events, and Naruto apologized for the rash way he handled things in Art. Sasuke just nodded and continued talking, admitting no wrong for his part.

Naruto listened , sucking in every detail for future reference, and speaking when he saw an opening. Part of him felt guilty because he knew that all of this chatter and energy Sasuke had was due to the drugs he had walked in on him smoking. He didn't really want to disturb the weird truce they had at the moment by bringing it up though.

Since they had sat down Sasuke had gone from flicking his cigarette every few seconds, to tapping his leg, to chewing his thumb nail to rubbing the back of his head and shaking his foot up and down, and then repeated the process. The constant movement was a little distracting and a bit aggravating, but it seemed that Sasuke was totally unaware he was even doing it, so Naruto mentioned nothing even though he seriously wanted to duct tape the teme to the couch to keep him from fidgeting.

Just as Naruto's patience with the constant movement radiating through the cushions reached its limit, the blonds stomach gave out an almighty growl, stopping Sasuke mid sentence. Naruto gave an apologetic smile, raising a hand to rub his neck in embarrassment, a chuckle escaping his lips. "haven't eaten" he said watching Sasuke's bemused look towards his stomach.

"It sounds angry", Sasuke said his face slipping in the direction of no emotion.

"yep,"he said, patting his belly for a second before wincing at the contact to his still not healed tattoo,"I've usually eaten several ramen cups by now..Do you have any ramen?"

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Sasuke rolled his eyes, leave it to Naruto to like ramen of all things.

"I doubt it, but I'll check."

He stood, noticing a faint weakness in his legs and a sickness in his stomach.

"You remember how to get to my room?"

Naruto nodded, the fading daylight making Naruto a mere silhouette.

"Ok, I'll meet you up there, I'm going to go see if we..I, if** I** have any ramen in the pantry. I know I don't have any upstairs but there's some bottled water , fruit juice, and maybe a soda or two. Get whatever you want."

Naruto stood, giving a jovial salute and sprinted out of the over joyed was he at the prospect of food and movement for his stiff limbs, that he missed the slight changes in Sasuke's appearance:

The cool mask descending, the slight hunch in his shoulders, the way he had his right hand on his left shoulder, as if the arm stretched across his chest would somehow hold his heart together.

Sasuke slowly wandered from the room, he could feel the world his high had built crashing around him. The shadows stretched out along the long hallway walls seemed to follow him, to mock him. He needed more, and he needed it quick.

He reached a hand into his pocket and felt the small bag, he palmed it and randomly popped into one of the rooms on this hall.

It was the Uchiha library. About the size of a high school gym, walls lined with rich black lacquered book shelves from floor to ceiling, several large desks positioned sporadically throughout the sea of book shelved isles. Cushy red satin furniture strategically placed to give the reader comfort and decent privacy amidst the sea of books.

Sasuke drug himself forward, not bothering to turn on the main lights, the lightly glowing lamps placed intermittently throughout the room would be enough for what he needed.

He made his way to the nearest sofa grabbing a book along the way. He sat and opened up the baggie, dumping more than half the bag on the book in his eagerness to feel on top of the world again,

_oh god, I need this._

He carefully placed the book down on the couch so he could reach with trembling hands for a dollar bill in his back pocket. As he shifted his weight he kept a wary eye on his drugs, afraid that something was going to cause it to unbalance and hit the floor.

Carefully he rolled the bill up, and used the side of it to spread the it across the book cover, creating four, entirely too thick, sloppy looking lines.

_Oh fuck yea, _he thought as he placed the bill in his nose, plugging the opposite nostril and gave a great inhale, sucking the entire first line up his nose. It burned, and it stung, it felt like he had just snorted small pieces of glass.

He tilted his head back and inhaled a few more times through his nose, ensuring that nothing would come back out. Then the first warm feelings started creeping up his arms making his heart flutter. It was like feather lite touches caressing his arms and chest. He bent over and repeated the process until he had cleared the whole surface. His whole body shaking from the drug entering his system and amping him up so much. He felt like he could run a mile without being short of breath.

He swiped his finger over the book and licked it,making sure to get every last bit off of the books surface. He grimaced at the bitter taste.

Finally satisfied with his work he flopped back on the couch his heart hammering in his chest, as the second warm rush of euphoria hit him like a ton of bricks. He felt his legs tingle and a warm rush to his groin. A pink tongue swiped across pale chapped lips.

_This is fucking amazing...oh yea.... I gotta find Naruto's ramen. How long have I been down here? I wonder if the dobe has even noticed...ha, probably not. He's probably playing one of my games eating all my snacks._

He lay there for a few more moments relishing the sensations the drug was feeding him. He felt the need to move. He really didn't want to sit still anymore, he couldn't. He realized his legs were trembling because he was bouncing them up and down in a restless fashion. He smirked, happiness alight in his eyes once again.

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**AN:** yes this is a rather short chapter. I'm kinda losing my thread on this story. I know where I want it to go and all that, but I am having a hell of a time getting it there. I think I will work on some of my other stories [not yet published on here] until I can get the flow of this right. To me each chapter flows by itself, but they don't flow together, like as a story...does that make sense? anyway, yea...i'm having difficulties and I dont like it so far, so.....it may be a while before my next update...sorry. -winky frowny- (go to you tube and type in winky frowny, awesome!)


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